A Look into Jeffersonville's Future...Circa 2040

(left to right) Destiny Hoffman, Cowboy, Mayor Matt Owen, Govenor Tom Pence, "Toxic" John Perkins

Dateline April 1, 2040

  Newly elected mayor Matt Owen (R) (the kid with game) announced today the tentative opening of the Big Four pedestrian bridge in time for the running of the Kentucky Derby. Owen said  "while nothing is certain, things are looking favorable, and we also expect the Park and landing area to be completed in the next two years." Owen also announced a grand opening and ribbon cutting extravaganza to be attended by local politicians and dignitaries..

  Among those expected to attend is "Toxic" John Perkins who just ended his 6th unsuccessful campaign for Clark Co. Commissioner. Asked if he would run again in 2042 Perkins replied " I'm the most qualified for the job." Tom "Bulldozer" Galligan County Dem. party chairman is scheduled to attend along with several of his former and current City Council members Mike "Fireman Bill" Smith, C. Sellers, Keith "Crapper Flapper" Fetz,  Ed. Z., and Dennis (FlowersRus) Julius. The City Council members also made it clear that the Council would not finance the ceremony as this is a "ReDevelopment Project" and they along with Galligan would in a show of solidarity and protest wear their  "Jeffersonville Canal, Can You Dig It" t-shirts. The t-shirts which will also be on sale to the general public will benefit the Pekin, Indiana Canal Project currently in the formative stages.

Also expected to attend is Kevin "Kevin in 45" Vissing who will be giving rides to the public in his old car for a minimal cost, to finance his next campaign. Noticeable by his absence will be former mayor Mike Moore who currently manages a Ollies Trolley in Florida. As always Jeff's self proclaimed political expert and watchdog Mike Hutt  (NHBSM) will be on hand to criticize the new mayor Owen. Owen is currently the 10th consecutive Jeff mayor that Hutt has flip-flopped on after being once again overlooked for a position in City government. Hutt proclaims that "Owen is the worst mayor in Jeff history" just like he has done previous mayors for the last 50 years...

The ceremonial ribbon cutting will feature Jeffersonville's most famous resident "Cowboy" and local entrepreneur and former drug court participant Destiny Hoffman who  parlayed her class action suit settlement against Clark Co. into a string of Taco Bell franchises. Also participating in ribbon cutting will be IN.governor Tom Pence, Mayor Matt Owen and "Toxic" John Perkins who won his position by submitting the highest bid in the  "Save Clark Co. " charity auction to help the County which has been broke now for 30 years...